Guest Blog by BNS Sreeja
I study human behavior and I would love to share an encounter I had in recent times which provoked the purpose of this piece. It was a typical day and I was speaking to someone close and we had gotten into a disagreement and while we wrangled, halfway through the argument it just got worse as none of us would drop it or compromise. I wouldn't get into the issue, but it wasn't the first time we were arguing about it. After a lot of screaming and hollering, we finally decided to call it off though it wasn't fixed and deep down we both knew it would come up again in some days. This made me ponder on the reasons why were we fighting and what causes a fight in general. And so I started thinking it about what someone should do if they were in a similar position. So, I narrowed it down to THREE things:
· HEED TO REGISTER, NOT TO DEFEND!!
Every person has a faction, listen to it, to concede and end the dispute and not to create a rebuttal for the unnecessary debate. LISTEN TO THE PERSON'S TRUTH and tell them yours.
· COUNT SOME NUMBERS/ SING A SONG/MEDITATE
I was trying to build a rhyming scheme but yes, all of the souls reading this would have seen this in a lot of books, anecdotes, and believe it or not it is true. When you are not calm you become irrational and anger dominates your thoughts and forces you to speak and do something you do not intend. Hence for efficiently ending an argument keeping your calm is THE passkey. You can have your own mechanism to calm yourself down.
· TALK THINGS OUT
Communication is very important between two people and it takes time and effort but always try to talk things out because if you leave the person wondering or without an answer it might hurt them, ( DISCLAIMER: YOU DO NOT HAVE TO FORGIVE THEM IF THEY DID SOMETHING WRONG), so if you think they can be forgiven and intend to keep them around letting them know how hurt you are and telling them what you expect them to do saves a lot of time and energy and you could use the adrenaline for the better.
So this is all I have to bestow for now but eternally remember: When it is someone close you are quarreling with AND it is something petty LET IT GO, BECAUSE letting your pride go is better than letting the person go"
I conclude this here on a positive note. Do you feel positive? I DO.
BNS Sreeja can be reached on firstname.lastname@example.org